Blood Love

Rock Bottom Riser – By Smog, Bill Callahan

I was listening to this song as I wrote this post, so you should too when you read it.  Bill Callahan aka Smog, if you like it you should buy it.  There is Christ Love. And their is the love of Man, the kind that Gandhi was preaching about. These have their place in the universe, but their is also a place, a very elemental place for Blood Love.So I was thinking about love and family and what is all about. I feel really lucky to have the kind of family I do. The parents that raised me. The talk when I was growing up, especially as a teen, was about how other families worked…and how we’d never be like them. That maybe they seemed kind of Ozzie and Harriet but what we had was better for us. We had real dialouge. The good, the bad, and lots of the ugly kind of dialouge. The thing about is, that we knew you couldn’t change who you were and who your family was.I always knew that my family was there for me, of course reserving the exclusive right to condemn, belittle and damage my self-esteem, but I knew they were my family and that when the wolves are licking their teeth and the wind is howling on the plains that the only ones you could count on with any confidence was those that brung you here and those that came here with you.And my older brothers and my parents were lucky too, in that they knew, no matter how much trouble we might have, that they were always Giants in my eyes. Great big superhero, miracle performing Giants.There is something really special about the way a child loves their parents. The love a child gives and the love a parent has for their children is simple and unadulterated. I want my parents to know that. Know matter what was going on with them, whatever mistakes have been made. They never really need to say they are sorry, because the love I have is not even unconditional. Its practically compulsory. Genetically programmed and nourished by the pioneer love they gave me. The man they (and my brothers) made me.The wonderful thing about the love a Father has for his daughter is that it is uncomplicated. A man can be overcome with the constant struggle with lust and love that marriage and dating take him through. With a daughter, or a mother, this love, it is romantic in a way that Freud foresaw. I don’t think he’s right about the other stuff but its so easy to fall In Love with your daughter or mother. The same I suppose goes for a mother and son. An incredible undying passion and love for the wonder that they are.The main thing I want my son to know, my teenage son, is that no matter how he struggles with figuring out what his life is going to be about, I am in his corner. I am there like a third base coach, telling him, urging him when to wait and when to run for home plate. My love for him is compulsory. Unquestionable.Which brings me to marriage and divorce. The thing about a durable love for a partner is that it should look like Blood Love. It should feel like Blood Love. Of course a marriage needs a lot of things to work, and I am sure I don’t know what all of them are. But I know this about it. What makes it so special, is that the compulsory feeling, the feeling that they know you are there. That “you’ve got their back” as the saying goes. This incredible feeling is Given. It is a choice you’ve made. Your promise is that you will keep on.Well that’s about it I guess. Peace.

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